I gave my girlfriend a promise ring
Source: and freaked out - Globe and Mail (Original Article)
Group Therapy is a relationship advice column that asks readers to contribute their wisdom. Each week, we offer up a problem for you to weigh in on, then publish the most lively responses, with a final word on the matter by our columnist, Claudia Dey.
A reader writes: For most of the two years my girlfriend and I have been dating, we have been living together. As my previous jobs were not enough to support us, and with her being a full-time student, we always had a roommate or family member in our household to help us along. I got a new job and have been saving up, and we have plans to move out on our own. We exchanged promise rings and then I began to freak out. I started pushing her away out of fear of commitment and I fell into a bit of a funk. We unexchanged rings. I took some time and realized I was just being stupid. She is the most amazing girl I have ever met. I explained why I’d been acting so weirdly and told her how much I loved her. We gave each other our rings back. Now I am finding her critical of everything I do. On top of school, she works 20 hours a week. I try to make her life easier, but she snaps at me over little things, causing me to become defensive and closed. I think her reaction has something to do with the fact she thought I was backing out of the relationship when I only wanted some time to reassess. I want her to be happy. What should I do?
PROVE YOURSELF
No relationship is perfect and it sounds like yours hit its first snag. Kudos to you for realizing what is going on. Now it’s your girlfriend’s turn to reassess: How does she feel about committing to someone who needed time out? Her feelings must be unsettled. Proving yourself to her once more is probably in order as you did cause the ripple. I think it’s great you are being sensitive and understanding, especially since you’re a guy. Tip to you: Don’t refer to her as a "girl" - try lady Visa Credit Card or something non-gender-specific such as an …continue reading